Friday, 18 April 2014

Contoh Teks Short Joke Pendek (Tugas B.Inggris)

                    Wife isn't in the car

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
Terjemahan :
               Istri tidak di dalam mobil
Di jalan pedesaan polisi negara bagian menarik petani ini dan berkata: "? Sir, apakah Anda menyadari istrimu jatuh dari mobil beberapa mil kembali"
Untuk yang menjawab petani: "Terima kasih Tuhan, saya pikir saya sudah tuli!"

              Pig misunderstanding

Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs.
Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly.
"Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked.
"Yeth." lisped the farmer.
Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."

                 Celebrating an event

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig.
"The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

                   Catching many fish

A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, " Only caught one, eh?" 

                  We go bear hunting

Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they went home.

             I will do anything to pass

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything.
" He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Anything." His voice softens. "Anything??" "Absolutely anything.
" His voice turns to a whisper.
"Would you...study?"Visit the next joke about this topic!

                Geology word plays

Several short geology plays on wordsOkay, if you are a real geologist, you probably enjoy transferring geology vocabulary into everyday situations. For example, if you agree with what someone has said, you may say, You breccia! or My sediments exactly! And if you are not pleased with the person's statement, you may resort to the old: That's not gneiss!

                    U.S. Air Force pilot

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.I have a friend who flew Lear Jets for the U.S. Air Force.
He would occasionally be assigned to an air show where one of his tasks was answering questions about his plane. Someone would always point to the fuel tank and ask if it was a missile. His standard answer was, "I can neither confirm or deny the presence of nuclear weapons on this aircraft." 

                     Visit the barber

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said.
"I'll be back in a few minutes.
"When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy.
"He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

                     Bad relationships

Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said,
"Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.
"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

                   My wife is missing

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" 
"Why?" 
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere." 
Sekian dari saya :) semoga membantu ;)
Aldrin Rachman Pradana
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